Kimberly Steinhoff January 9, 2022 Parenting
The best part of being a grandparent perhaps is that you get to visit the kids when they are smiling, and the parents have to deal with them all the time, change their diapers, and take care of all the other nonsense. You get the best of all worlds. It is fun to watch the grandkids run around and play, and reminisce about what it was like to be young, or how you raised your own kids. Having grandkids visit is fun, raising grandkids can be quite a chore, perhaps you are getting too old for that.
Child custody situations can be stressful and overwhelming for parents and children. Too often, the parents bring emotional issues from the divorce into the custody situation and a custody battle develops. The children are the ones who ultimate lose in these cases. The first step to winning custody is for the mother and father to look objectively at the situation and figure out the best way for the children to be raised. This almost always means that both parents need to be involved in the children`s lives (except in cases of abuse or when a parent is unfit). A parent who is seeking to exclude the other parent from the children needs to take a step back and be honest about their reasoning. Are they doing this because of a personal vendetta? Are the children really going to benefit from this action? If the children`s interests are slighted, there is not any way for either parent to win custody.
Filing for child support is a different process than filing the parenting agreement, but they relate and they can be done at the same time. There are just different papers to fill out. The parenting agreement affects the support payments, because the information in the agreement determines the amount of support. The agreement has the custody and visitation schedule, which provides the timeshare percentage of each parent. The agreement should also contain stipulations about how the parents will provide insurance, education, and other necessities for the child. Some states use these factors to help determine the amount of support.
If you and the other parent have similar values and parenting styles, the chances for success with a shared plan increase. When children are exposed to one person`s methods, which are completely reversed with the other parent, it can cause confusion, stress and divided loyalty. Your children will benefit from joint custody if you and the other parent see eye to eye on many basic child rearing practices.
The parents should also consider the nature and temperament of their children. If a child is very close to one parent and wants to live with that parent, the child may need to move with that parent. Sometimes that is for the best. Depending on the age of the children, the parents can get input about what the children would like to happen. They can set up different arrangements for each of their children if that is necessary. The parents should listen to their children, but in the end they should act in the best way they see fit.
Once the mother and father have worked out where the children will live, they need to decide the visitation of the other parent. It is important that the children still have a lot of contact with both parents--one parent should not just disappear. If both parents have been involved in the care-taking of the children, the children will need more visitation with the other parent. The mother and father should look at their work schedules to figure out the arrangements.
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