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Rose F. Roselli January 6, 2022 Parenting

There was an interesting article in Science Daily posted on August 21, 2013 titled; "Grandmothers Who Raise Their Grandkids Struggle With Depression, Study Suggests," which actually makes a lot of sense, parenting is a huge stress, and older people around younger people all the time makes them feel old, unwanted, too slow, and out of touch.

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For many divorcing parents, a family court will recommend mediation services to work out issues concerning a parenting plan and visitation schedule. In some states, mediation is mandatory. Whether private mediation or through the court, mediation is an excellent way for you and the other parent to work together to create a parenting plan for your children.

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Bring your own version of a parenting plan to mediation, because that helps you get your thoughts organized and down on paper. Preparing a plan gives you time to think about custody preferences, financial obligations, how and where your children should spend their days, and how your family will spend holidays and vacations.

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Once the parenting agreement is decided on, the parents can get a copy of the state child support calculator to find out the amount of support that is paid or received. If the parents do not think the amount of support is fair, they can make adjustments to the agreement to change the amount. They can do this by changing the custody schedule or the other information in the agreement. It is important for parents to take ownership for their agreement and child support. They should double check the calculations and do their own math rather than relying on the court. The court may estimate some of the numbers or make mistakes, and it is up to the parents to notice this and fix the situation.

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Child custody situations can be stressful and overwhelming for parents and children. Too often, the parents bring emotional issues from the divorce into the custody situation and a custody battle develops. The children are the ones who ultimate lose in these cases. The first step to winning custody is for the mother and father to look objectively at the situation and figure out the best way for the children to be raised. This almost always means that both parents need to be involved in the children`s lives (except in cases of abuse or when a parent is unfit). A parent who is seeking to exclude the other parent from the children needs to take a step back and be honest about their reasoning. Are they doing this because of a personal vendetta? Are the children really going to benefit from this action? If the children`s interests are slighted, there is not any way for either parent to win custody.

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The best way for a mother or father to truly win child custody is to work with the other parent to create an acceptable parenting agreement. The parents should try to set aside other issues and disagreements and focus solely on what they are going to do to raise their children. The plan that they create for caring for the children becomes the parenting agreement. If they work together and are willing to be open and to compromise, they should be able to come up with a parenting time schedule that allows for fair time for each parent. They will also be able to divide up the holidays fairly. These parents will also put in parenting provisions and stipulations that will ensure the child is being raised in a positive home environment. This will help the parent`s peace of mind when the child is at the other home.

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